My husband literally does everything. He flies planes. He fixes stuff around the house. He calms down his wife who might start having a panic attack about life at any given moment. He can even do that from another state. It's impressive. He's superman, really.
In general I'm pretty used to him being away. But with the whole being-an-adult-and-trying-to-sell-our- first-house-and-move-to-England thing, I really miss my partner. Maybe more so because there is so much to do, and in my head I have "plenty of time" because I'm not working right now....somehow that adds to the pressure. No Excuses, housewife! But it doesn't change the fact that the to-do list is a little overwhelming and sometimes confusing and things in the house seem to be breaking right about when we're trying to leave and blah blah blah.
Sometimes I wonder...how did I get here? I wasn't supposed to be a housewife. What is going on? HOW DO I ESCAPE? WHY IS DAVE ALWAYS FLYING HIS PLANE TO FAR AWAY PLACES???
Buuuut, I know the answer. I chose it. It's hard to remember why sometimes, but I chose to be where I am right now. I so do not regret the decisions I have made. Sometimes I do have to rewind a little and remind myself, otherwise I spiral into labeling myself as a quitter or something else terrible, untrue and useless.
I fell in love with superman at age 21 and never looked back. I went into the Air Force super blue and in love.....oh, how perfect. Off we go, into the wild blue yonder...But 4 years later superman was still by my side when I wanted to rip my hair out daily. I so wanted to hang on to the Air Force for all the reasons I wanted to join in the first place, but life is not about being miserable at a job where you don't feel like you are making a difference. Many argued I was....but that's another internal battle in my mind :) I was definitely overly-confident about how "easy" it was going to be to have my own career in the civilian world with that whole moving around part, but I think it was good I had those blinders on. Dave is always a voice of reason and a source of endless support....good qualities to have in a spouse. And that is why I feel content with where I am & how I got here. I am excited for the near future....we finally get to go on our European honeymoon. For 3 years, woot! I have seen so little of the world. And we've had so much fun so far that I'm even fairly confident that the more distant future will be fun as well...whether that means housewife, mom and/or super career woman when Dave is retired at age 42. I'm keeping my options open, haha.
So when I read this post by one of the most hilarious bloggers I follow, it was pretty amazing. Seriously, if you took the time to read my post, you'll appreciate this comic relief (caution: do not drink liquids while reading). No kiddos yet, but that moment in life when you wonder "How did I get here?" and then realize you are actually happy at the same time....
While I'm referencing blog posts that I love, this one about letting go is also worth a read if you are in some sort of "oh-my-god-how-did-I-get-here" stage in your life. I love her closing remarks.
Superman flies back home today. Win.
Hey girl! Thanks for linking to my post! People were clicking through because that's how I got here! I completely feel where you are (obviously). But I love how you have no regrets about your decisions. That's been on my mind lately--that I need to have faith in the choices I made way back whenever. It's easy to think you would have done something differently once you're removed from a situation.
ReplyDeleteAnd am I EVER jealous of your European honeymoon! :)