Bittersweet Emotion

I've noticed that almost every single person who I tell I'm leaving the Air Force asks "So what are you going to do when you get out?"

Sometimes it is with a particular tone that implies there are no other options out there. This kind of makes me laugh and also really irritates me. Since it is completely untrue. Yeah, the job market is bad right now. You don't think I've weighed that factor?? Just another challenge.

The other part that I think adds to my frustration is that I just don't want to be asked that question. I get that it is a natural progression of the topic of conversation. But I don't know exactly what path I am headed down. And I'm ok with that. Do I want to work? Yes. Doing what? I'm exploring, and really wanting more time to study and find out what I really love. Do I want to have children? Yes. When? Not now. Any other questions? :)

What I do know, as my previous entries reveal, is that it was never going to be an easy decision for me to leave, and there will always be things I miss. I've accepted that. And still think about it. I also know that despite those things, I am excited for another chapter. I am excited to finish my Masters, and possibly go back to school again because I've been so hungry to learn (a skill set) for the last couple years. I am going to spend more quality time with my husband, and be home for the 6 months he is home each year simply because I feel like being apart more than that doesn't sound fun anymore. Well, it never did, but that went with me wanting to serve my country. I am going to create a more stable environment for our (future) children by ensuring at least one parent will be around when the other is sent off at a moment's notice. I know that making a career change now sounds better than trying to do it after I have children.

The journey of this decision has taught me that only you really know whats best for you. It's been a difficult decision, but I did it. No regrets about joining. No regrets about leaving. Maybe just a little bittersweet emotion.