Babies

Scared ya, didn't I? No, there is nothing in the oven.

But, like everything else for me these days, it seems, I'm all over the map.  One day, I'm (we're) contemplating not having kids at all, and the next I'm looking at pictures of my friends beautiful new babies (or better yet, meeting them....James!) and thinking " this is pretty amazing...why wouldn't I?"  I guess as I'm getting older, I'm possibly sort of starting to understand the "there is nothing better in life" perspective.  I am not there, but I could see it.

"Issue" # 1.  I don't feel a "calling," if you will, to bring another human (or 2) into this world.  Do I think it would be amazing to see someone who is a complete mix of Dave and I? Yes....that part IS really tempting.  He/she would probably be really cool. And cute :) But, is that in itself a good reason to have a baby?  Not to me.  If motherhood isn't going to be your primary focus (and I don't mean not having a job, necessarily....but complete devotion all around), then personally, IMHO, it's not the right time or thing to do.  Children aside, I want to influence the world in other ways.  I guess I need to map out...calculate....how to do this all at the same time.  But both are important to me.  But at this point in my life, I'm usually still thinking about me and things I want to accomplish and things I want to do with Dave.

Issue # 2.  In public, I usually just get mad (furious) with screaming, misbehaving kids and.....more so, the parents.  Really, mostly/all the parents.  I know, I know one day it will be me.  But back to #1, sort of, there are responsibilities that come with parenthood, people.  Like teaching them to not scream in libraries.  Give them a few minutes, and after that.....remove them.  It's called common courtesy.  Deal with the issue.  That is, if you believe there is one.  Yes, I've sort of "complained" about this one on FB before, but it's one of my favorites.  A library.

Well, I've already realized that regardless of whether or not we have kids, all those other kids and parents will still be around.  A friend recently told me that it is our responsibility to bring kids into this world because we are "good people."  Hilarious.  But I can see where she is going with that....

However, I did have sort of a revelation recently.  Maybe having a child will help me find other parents/friends who are the same as us, and will restore my faith in the abilities of "parents" these days.

I know, this all sounds judgmental. It is in a way.  Once I'm in the motherhood shoes, maybe I'll see how hard it really is.   I think I'm already acknowledging that fact up front.   But all I know is I don't want to bring a child into the world without having the time, energy and motivation to raise him/her the best way I know how.