Lucky & Lonely MWF

I've got a gift certificate to paradise.  Just sayin.'  I love that Meghan bribed us to come back out with this lovely gift :)  The letters N.E.P.E.N.T.H.E. put a smile on my face.  I wish we were rich so we could escape to Big Sur on a whim...

I also recently used $45 of the $70 of paradise (massage from Jamie) that Dave got me for my birthday.  I'm a lucky girl.

I shouldn't have to, but I have to remind myself of this often.  I've been in sort of a rut lately.  It does and doesn't have to do with Dave leaving for 6 weeks.  A lot of the best friends we made out here have moved.  The local support system up and left! It's just what happens with the military, yes....but it stings a little!  Yes I'm a little picky in choosing friends, but I feel this is necessary based on my past experiences.  Feeling a little isolated here in Kansas, sometimes.   Not sure how else to describe it.  I know I have friends and family (afar) who love me.  But I think sometimes they seriously forget about us out here, that is all.  For a few years, I didn't get lonely.  I guess I was still on the high of getting to move around and "see the world" or whatever.  Well, I do like moving around.  But it doesn't always feel peachy, that is all.

BUT.  The lucky part.  I DO have Dave.  The best husband in the world.  I have bribes coming in from CA (have to go spend the certificate, right?) and invitations to run marathons with all my running buddies spread throughout the country.  As far as people not visiting here...well I often wonder if it is because we don't constantly invite people to come out, or they just take us coming home to MI or going other places for granted and don't even think how expensive it can get, and how difficult it is for us both to be able to leave at the same time and actually plan trips with Dave's AF surprise trips....or they just can't imagine visiting Kansas (well get over it, it's where we live).  Meghan wanted to visit on her way out West once, and I basically said no :/ I felt too overwhelmed at the time.  How crappy is that?? Oh, how my appreciation for true friendship has changed. 

Excerpt from Rachel Bertsche's MWF Seeking BFF (the book), talking about British anthropologist Robin Dunbar's theories on how the size of the human brain determines how many relationships we can maintain:

"Social network means something different today than it did back in the nineties.  Dunbar didn't care about the number of people who follow you on Twitter.  He was talking about relationships "that depend on extensive personal knowledge based on face-to-face interaction for their stability."  Reading someone's status update doesn't count."

And THAT is why facebook sucks.  And why I just started wondering why I even used it.  Well, over the past week, sometimes I did almost try to pull up Facebook to post something.  Then remembered, haha.  But then I think, who do I REALLY want to share this with?  Sometimes it's just not ideal to make a call in the middle of the day or expect text dialogue with those people when they are working or busy with other things.  That was the beauty of FB...you could just throw things on there.....for no one to pay attention.  And sort of wonder if the people who did like or commented on posts REALLY cared??  Ok I'm regurgitating Saturday's post.  So instead I post things on this blog...that no one reads :).  But, aside from anyone who runs across it or remembers that it exists or feels like checking it, this is really for me. Ok, maybe I wish people would read it.  But...I get something out of it regardless.

Point- those "real" relationships are important, and I have some really good ones at a distance.  FB was just making it easier to not work harder at them.  I have some good ones locally too...just have to remind myself to reach out to people (ya know, real interaction) when I start feeling like I'm millions of miles away from comfort.