Following last week's meeting, I was so excited and confident about my ability to actually become a doctor (which may have come across in my post). I know some people would say "well of course you could do it." But if you really know me, you probably would be excited for me to have this type of revelation about myself:)
But that isn't all there is to it. It's the external factors. How long am I willing to live apart from Dave & Teddy? Do I have time to get all the prerequisites done and still start at a decent age? Am I willing to be pregnant during residency (let's face it, I would be in prime baby-making years...if not already later). If you know me, you also probably wouldn't be surprised to know that immediately upon really considering this profession (more than just 'a thought') I started looking up "how this would work." Of course there are plenty of forums on the topic. It was very interesting to read different tips and experiences.
Well this week, it feels closer to impossible. Maybe I'm reading too many statistics on depression in medical students? :)
Most people (I would almost argue all people) need to be needed. Some people might disagree, but I think it's human nature. And I've always longed to make a difference. When I was in the Air Force, it did get to a point where I felt needed. But I certainly did not feel like I was making a difference. It's important to be comfortable in what you are doing and know that you are working to your full potential. Well, it's important for me. Comes back to the infamous quote:
"Don't ask what
the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because
what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman
Well, I think the world DOES need more doctors. But that fact aside, I think I would feel alive. Directly being able to interact with people on a personal level, and getting to use 8 years of school and training and ongoing research to give them the best treatment I can.
I think another thing exciting to me about being a doctor despite the time and effort (and $) to get there is that not only would it be a constant challenge, but I really do think I would be good at it. Something I was missing before. What ever qualified me to be a good Communications Officer? I was a good Officer, but I was not ok with not being passionate about Communications. Because it was just a constant, tiring struggle/battle, not an exciting challenge. I was not alive.
Is going through 8 years of school really so bad if it makes you come out feeling alive (exhausted, but alive)? Only I can make that call. Shadow time.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Medical School
A couple weeks (vs months) between posts. The goal is days. Because this is therapeutic.
When I look back on my "journey" over the last 4 years (or maybe 8 if you count my time at Michigan), I really don't regret it at all. I have doubted myself, over and over. I started off in Engineering at Michigan and flopped. I've come full circle today and have thought about engineering again. But at the time I didn't even know why I was going to school for engineering (I believe the reason I chose it was because I was "good at math and science" according to high school guidance counselors. My bad for not checking more into that...). Well I'm old enough now to realize why that didn't work out. I got a job in the Air Force that had nothing to do with my degree, which ended up being Movement Science (Air Force Officer standard....you're just leading people, "doesn't matter" what your degree is in). Long story short, when I reflect on that time now, I was not happy with what I was doing for a couple reasons. I was not trained in the field I was leading. This was a big deal to me. Additionally, regardless of how much training I had, I was in a position where I really couldn't change what I saw was wrong or not working.
Like I mentioned, I'll keep that part "short." But about a year ago, I was hungry for more education. That is why I chose to go back to school at a good school nearby. I didn't want an online degree because I wanted to get back in the classroom. Fortunately for me, this was an option. Although not always easy as I had to leave work early a lot to get to class. I chose to go back to school for a Masters of Education in Exercise Science. I saw this as an extension of my undergrad; and I just wanted to refresh what I had already learned and advance my education. I was so excited to go back to school. Call me crazy! I'm ok with that. It's about to get crazier.
Well as I got further and further into the degree, I was enjoying it. I enjoyed the subject matter. I didn't really enjoy people asking me what I was going to do with it, because I honestly didn't have an answer. "Exercise Science" along with some certifications would allow me to be an "Exercise Physiologist." What do they do, you're probably wondering. No need to go into that either, really. (Ok, the American Society of Exercise Physiologists says "Exercise Physiology is the identification of physiological mechanisms underlying physical activity, the comprehensive delivery of treatment services concerned with the analysis, improvement, and maintenance of health and fitness, rehabilitation of heart disease and other diseases and/or disabilities, and the professional guidance and counsel of athletes and others interested in athletics, sports training, and human adaptability to acute and chronic exercise."). No, I don't plan on being a personal trainer. Don't need a Master's for that, and, I don't have interest in personal training. No I don't plan on being a "gym teacher." My answer was pretty much no to every question I was asked, either because it wasn't the work of an exercise physiologist or because it wasn't my interest to apply it in that manner. But I love the material, and the concepts...and basically, how exercise fits into life...
My plan was to keep this short, but oh well:) I've always thought off and on about almost every medical career field. I used to "think" I wanted to be a Physical Therapist. I've thought about Physician's Assistant, and Nursing. And over the last few weeks, I've considered medical school. What is really exciting is figuring what I do and don't want to do, and why. For me, this has taken time. But I think it's true for most people.
This evening, I met with a friend of Dave and I's who is an Air Force doctor. Since considering this profession, I've been seeking out info from any docs I know! What's making me lean toward this option is the ability to use the science to diagnose. To use my exercise science background and beliefs in preventative medicine to treat patients. I digress. So, I was so excited walking away from this dinner "meeting" :) that I talked to Dave about it for 2 hours afterwards. She was so awesome and it was a great conversation. She kept apologizing for possibly boring me but I was anything but bored. I was fascinated with everything. What she really made me realize is that doctors march to the beat of a different drum. But when have I not. People will always discourage you from this profession. "Why would you want to go to school that long? And it's a lot of money." These are very valid points, and you must really want to be a doctor to go through with it, so I appreciate that honesty from a doctor. But she talked me through it all. She made me realize I would have a good shot of getting in. She laid out several options for going through with it; she pointed out the cons AND the pros (I mention in that order because you really only hear about the cons usually). She encouraged me to shadow some doctors. But she is a doctor and she was excited to talk about it. It's up to me to figure out if it's what I want, but it was so refreshing to see and hear a glimpse of what I believe I would love about this profession. Mostly, it was comforting to find someone who will guide me through THIS part of the journey...:)
I really believe that everything that happens to you shapes who you are; my point in all this is that everything I have gone through has helped me get closer to, baby step by baby step, what I want to contribute to this very big world of ours. And every step has given me a little more strength and confidence. No journey is easy, but the challenge is really starting to feel worth it.
Dinner was on me. A token of my appreciation for the huge inspiration I received.
More to come.
When I look back on my "journey" over the last 4 years (or maybe 8 if you count my time at Michigan), I really don't regret it at all. I have doubted myself, over and over. I started off in Engineering at Michigan and flopped. I've come full circle today and have thought about engineering again. But at the time I didn't even know why I was going to school for engineering (I believe the reason I chose it was because I was "good at math and science" according to high school guidance counselors. My bad for not checking more into that...). Well I'm old enough now to realize why that didn't work out. I got a job in the Air Force that had nothing to do with my degree, which ended up being Movement Science (Air Force Officer standard....you're just leading people, "doesn't matter" what your degree is in). Long story short, when I reflect on that time now, I was not happy with what I was doing for a couple reasons. I was not trained in the field I was leading. This was a big deal to me. Additionally, regardless of how much training I had, I was in a position where I really couldn't change what I saw was wrong or not working.
Like I mentioned, I'll keep that part "short." But about a year ago, I was hungry for more education. That is why I chose to go back to school at a good school nearby. I didn't want an online degree because I wanted to get back in the classroom. Fortunately for me, this was an option. Although not always easy as I had to leave work early a lot to get to class. I chose to go back to school for a Masters of Education in Exercise Science. I saw this as an extension of my undergrad; and I just wanted to refresh what I had already learned and advance my education. I was so excited to go back to school. Call me crazy! I'm ok with that. It's about to get crazier.
Well as I got further and further into the degree, I was enjoying it. I enjoyed the subject matter. I didn't really enjoy people asking me what I was going to do with it, because I honestly didn't have an answer. "Exercise Science" along with some certifications would allow me to be an "Exercise Physiologist." What do they do, you're probably wondering. No need to go into that either, really. (Ok, the American Society of Exercise Physiologists says "Exercise Physiology is the identification of physiological mechanisms underlying physical activity, the comprehensive delivery of treatment services concerned with the analysis, improvement, and maintenance of health and fitness, rehabilitation of heart disease and other diseases and/or disabilities, and the professional guidance and counsel of athletes and others interested in athletics, sports training, and human adaptability to acute and chronic exercise."). No, I don't plan on being a personal trainer. Don't need a Master's for that, and, I don't have interest in personal training. No I don't plan on being a "gym teacher." My answer was pretty much no to every question I was asked, either because it wasn't the work of an exercise physiologist or because it wasn't my interest to apply it in that manner. But I love the material, and the concepts...and basically, how exercise fits into life...
My plan was to keep this short, but oh well:) I've always thought off and on about almost every medical career field. I used to "think" I wanted to be a Physical Therapist. I've thought about Physician's Assistant, and Nursing. And over the last few weeks, I've considered medical school. What is really exciting is figuring what I do and don't want to do, and why. For me, this has taken time. But I think it's true for most people.
This evening, I met with a friend of Dave and I's who is an Air Force doctor. Since considering this profession, I've been seeking out info from any docs I know! What's making me lean toward this option is the ability to use the science to diagnose. To use my exercise science background and beliefs in preventative medicine to treat patients. I digress. So, I was so excited walking away from this dinner "meeting" :) that I talked to Dave about it for 2 hours afterwards. She was so awesome and it was a great conversation. She kept apologizing for possibly boring me but I was anything but bored. I was fascinated with everything. What she really made me realize is that doctors march to the beat of a different drum. But when have I not. People will always discourage you from this profession. "Why would you want to go to school that long? And it's a lot of money." These are very valid points, and you must really want to be a doctor to go through with it, so I appreciate that honesty from a doctor. But she talked me through it all. She made me realize I would have a good shot of getting in. She laid out several options for going through with it; she pointed out the cons AND the pros (I mention in that order because you really only hear about the cons usually). She encouraged me to shadow some doctors. But she is a doctor and she was excited to talk about it. It's up to me to figure out if it's what I want, but it was so refreshing to see and hear a glimpse of what I believe I would love about this profession. Mostly, it was comforting to find someone who will guide me through THIS part of the journey...:)
I really believe that everything that happens to you shapes who you are; my point in all this is that everything I have gone through has helped me get closer to, baby step by baby step, what I want to contribute to this very big world of ours. And every step has given me a little more strength and confidence. No journey is easy, but the challenge is really starting to feel worth it.
Dinner was on me. A token of my appreciation for the huge inspiration I received.
More to come.
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