Ellie's bathtub drama

Two posts in a day, I know.  Normally I try to cram 3 weeks into a post.  Which isn't that fun.

Warning: getting personal ahead

Back home in Kansas, we do not have a door to our bathroom area, just the "toilet room." So I usually just leave the bedroom door open when I take baths (yes I take baths).  It's a jacuzzi tub and pretty deep, so even though Ellie always comes in and is really curious (water, duh....I just like to splash her), she doesn't really bother me.  Well the last few days I have been pretty sore and took a bath today which usually makes me feel better.  Not so fancy, the tub here.  Well Ellie kept coming in (yeah should have shut the door).  Even though it was hot water, she tried to take a few sips.  I really just find her curiosity funny and how her head tilts every time there is water movement.  But I keep telling her to go lay down, and she does, and then comes back in a couple minutes later.  Well, not sure if she took in a few too many soap fumes, but all of the sudden, she is gone, and Teddy is in the bathroom looking at me all concerned.  Then I hear the convulsing noises.  I kind of laugh.  Great.  Now I have lean around to see out the door that Ellie is about to puke, looking at me with very sad eyes.

What do you do in that moment?! Haha. What consitutes hopping out of the tub and running to the door to let her out? Not this, I decided.  This is not a fire.  But I cut my bath short and get out.....she is no where in sight.  Then she comes running back down the hall, licking her chops.  Pretty sure she threw up somewhere in the house, and then ate it.  I have not found any evidence.

Can't even take a bath around here.

Is this similar to the stuff Moms laugh about? It seems like it, maybe.

Get upset, pout, slap myself, be grateful, repeat.

So when I catch myself getting down (and this happens often recently) I try to kick myself or slap myself and remind myself of why I am FORTUNATE and why my life is GOOD and, most importantly, that my decisions are what got me to this point of "unhappiness" I feel sometimes.  This pretty much all stems from me being unemployed and feeling lost....but, oh well for now.  I know there are plenty of people who want to punch me because I get to do what I'm doing.

I knew Dave's school would be demanding, but it's super crazy.  It kind of feels like a slap in the face when you think your expectations are pretty low, but then you are faced with the reality that they are still too high.  That is the best way I know how to describe my lows lately.    

A couple weekends ago (rewind to Feb 8), we planned on getting up really early on Saturday and going snowshoeing a few hours west with our friend Rosa.  Well, all of the sudden Dave never shows up on Friday.....and I'm thinking, there is no way in hell he will be able to get up early on Saturday. I didn't know why he was stuck there so late.  But I made the call that we should go Sunday (even though his Sundays aren't free) and that would give us more time.  I was just really disappointed because that was after a long week of him getting home at like 10 or 11.  Saturday is the gem, and we were going to get to see each other for more than 30 min! Not.  We're so used to always being apart, TDYs, deployments, blah blah blah.  But it's funny, when you set your heart on something, or "plan" for something, it sucks bad when it falls apart.

Also, to counter that negative energy...........I'm not in Kansas anymore, I still get to see him a few minutes each day, and I'm getting to have a lot of fun in a beautiful place.  It's easy to shut myself up.  And, I feel bad that he is getting his ass kicked and I'm....having fun.  I know he is giving it all he's got, so I really do just try to have meals on the table and do the laundry and other things that he doesn't have time to do.    

Saturday, I went to Rock of Ages with a couple friends.  Hilarious!  Dave went to the hockey game with a dude.




 Sunday, Rosa and I went showshoeing with Tyson and Ellie.  Awesome!

T-Pain's Boots

Ellie scared and hanging by us after getting the bejesus scared out of her when some skiiers and snowmobilers came flying down the hill :)  Her adventurous spirit was killed for a bit after that.

We stopped in Leavenworth, WA...right by the mountain...after for a delish Brat and hot, German, red wine stuff at Munchen Haus.  Yum.  Going back this weekend with Dave.

So what am I complaining about? I have no idea.

Also >insert self-indulgent purchases here< ....I bought a couple things for myself that next week that I absolutely LOVE.  Dave and I are not huge on Valentine's Day and don't really do gifts but I will apparently use it as an excuse to love & buy myself stuff?? Haha.  I pretty much have running shoes, and Sorels to romp around in serious snow.  But nothing when we go out to eat or casual wear....so I justified the purchase of these awesome boots.  Fell in love with the rings when I saw them on a friend's jewelry trunk show.  It helped her too :)  So yeah, the fact that I can buy myself fancy Keen boots and rings -----> Fortunate

I also got the idea in my head to make Valentine's cookies like 2 weeks before V-day and remained super excited about it.  *projects and recipes you find when you don't have anything else to do*  I enjoyed it though.  Gave some to friends, Dave's class and housekeeping :)

And as long as we're on V-day, Ellie also graduated her Obedience 1 class on V-day! Love you Ellie!  Good girl.  Fortunate to have such cute buddies to keep me company. At all times :)

Ok, I did want to show my loves that I loved them.  I purchased Dave some good Glenlivet that he wouldn't buy himself and the dogs a huge, gross bone.  I made him a heart-shaped pizza, and I want to make homemade pizza all the time now.

V-Day 2013

Rewind 7 years

Ok my birthday last Friday.....Dave's schedule got "revised" and he was gone all day and night and got home at 3 am Saturday, we had to cancel our Seattle plans...the story goes on....:) I went skiing on my b-day with Rosa.  The next day we went on a little family hike and out to dinner at an awesome restaurant.  I was pouting a little inside about my b-day, but I still can't really complain.  So I stopped.  I just miss him being around and enjoying things with him, bottom line.  This weekend we're taking the day trip again and going showshoeing in the mountains with the dogs and their buddy Tyson and back to the Bavarian town to warm up with some German goodness.  

Get upset, pout, slap myself, be grateful, repeat. 

I was super disappointed that Nashville was not on last night, but I'm really excited about Grey's tonight and CAN'T WAIT for Revenge on Sunday.  Or is it even on because of the Oscars?? Oh no! #firstworldproblems #abcyouownmylife

Currently listening to: Fleetwood Mac, duh

Beachbody Customer Service Part 2; Yes that will works fine for me

And here we have it, folks.  Part 2.  I thought about summarizing it, but there are just too many good parts I didn't want to leave out.

Response
Thanks for taking the time to chat with us. Please see below for a transcript of today’s chat session.
Discussion Thread
Chat Transcript	02/07/2013 10:11 AM
[09:29:47 AM] Thank you for contacting Beachbody, my name is David Alexander. If at any time you feel you're not receiving excellent service or feel unsatisfied with what I am doing, please let me know immediately and I will do all within my power to accomplish your request. How may I help you? [09:30:43 AM] Breanne Clark: I would like to cancel my order or Insanity that was placed almost 4 weeks ago. I still have not received it because they shipped it to the wrong address and I already tried to get this resolved once. [09:30:54 AM] Breanne Clark: for Insanity [09:31:31 AM] Breanne Clark: I have moved on to another workout plan and will return the product if I do recieve it [09:31:35 AM] David Alexander: Breanne, I am sorry to hear that. [09:31:46 AM] David Alexander: However, I can certainly help you with that. [09:31:53 AM] David Alexander: Could you please verify the following information so I may locate your account? -Billing Name (first and last) -Billing Address -City, State, & Zip code  [09:32:07 AM] Breanne Clark: Billing name: Breanne Clark [09:32:22 AM] Breanne Clark: Derby, KS 67037 [09:32:37 AM] David Alexander: Thank you for providing me with the required information. Please give a moment while I look into your records. [09:37:33 AM] Breanne Clark: hello? [09:37:52 AM] David Alexander: Breanne, Yes I am here. [09:41:19 AM] David Alexander: Please bear with me as ny system is slow. [09:41:24 AM] David Alexander: *my [09:41:49 AM] David Alexander: Thank you for your patience. [09:43:30 AM] David Alexander: I see that you have already contacted our customer service regarding your wrong delivery issue. [09:43:51 AM] Breanne Clark: yes. 2 weeks ago [09:44:52 AM] David Alexander: I am sorry for the inconvenience you have experienced. [09:46:08 AM] David Alexander: I see that we have refunded $10 form the product price on 01/23/2013 [09:47:14 AM] Breanne Clark: shipping is $24.95. He gave it to me for 10 or $11 for being military which was nice, but it's nothing for wating a month for the product. I would like to cancel my order. I am not happy that Beach Body made the mistake and isn't willing to give me a greater discount or find another way to correct the problem. [09:47:56 AM] Breanne Clark: I gave my shipping address 3 times over the phone. It is not my fault that it was shipped to the wrong location and it isn't up to me to correct it [09:48:40 AM] Breanne Clark: he also said he was going to refund my shipping for my previous order for P90X, which I never recieved [09:49:16 AM] Breanne Clark: he offered free shipping on a future product, but I do not plan on ordering anything else so he offered the refund on the P90X shipping. but then didn't process it [09:49:40 AM] David Alexander: I do understand your concern. [09:49:46 AM] Breanne Clark: the bottom line is that it simply does not fit into my training anymore [09:50:20 AM] Breanne Clark: and I am not going to keep getting charged for a product I do not have [09:50:50 AM] David Alexander: I will go ahead and request a refund for the amount $128.42. The refund will be processed within 24 hours. Please allow an additional 72 business hours for your financial institution to post the credit to your account. [09:51:01 AM] David Alexander: Will that works fine with you? [09:51:56 AM] Breanne Clark: well as far as I know I haven't been charged the next 2 payments yet [09:52:29 AM] Breanne Clark: a refund of whatever has been charged for Insanity and cancellation of future payments is all I want [09:53:16 AM] David Alexander: Please be noted that I will go ahead and request a refund for the amount $128.42 for your Inasnity order. [09:53:36 AM] Breanne Clark: ok [09:55:56 AM] David Alexander: I am really sorry for the misinformation that I have provided. [09:57:10 AM] David Alexander: I see that you have only billed $60.03 on 01/16/2013 for Insanity DVD package. [09:57:29 AM] Breanne Clark: yes. [09:57:42 AM] David Alexander: It seems that we have already refunded $11.51 on 1/23/2013. [09:58:07 AM] David Alexander: The refund will be $48.52. [09:58:26 AM] Breanne Clark: ok [09:59:16 AM] Breanne Clark: the last time the tracking info was updated was 6 days ago, so I don't know where it is. I will ship it back when I get it. [10:00:24 AM] David Alexander: Breanne, yes sure. [10:00:31 AM] David Alexander: Is there any thing else I may help you with today? [10:01:59 AM] Breanne Clark: if customer feedback matters, I didn't originally mind paying a lot of money for this product. but for a lot of money, I expect timely delivery and good customer service. no one has even offered to let me keep this product for a discounted price, so it seems this company does not care about their customers or really believe in the product. that is all today [10:02:12 AM] Breanne Clark: thank you [10:02:49 AM] David Alexander: I am sorry, If you feel in this way. [10:02:56 AM] Breanne Clark: I do [10:03:39 AM] David Alexander: We certainly do not allow any customers to go unsatisfied. [10:04:20 AM] David Alexander: Breanne, Please give me a minute while I have a word with my supervisor. [10:06:37 AM] David Alexander: Thank you for your patience. [10:07:17 AM] David Alexander: I just had a word with my supervisor. [10:09:27 AM] David Alexander: We are really sorry for the inconvenience caused to you. It seems that the order has been return back to our warehouse due to incorrect address. However, we have processed a complete refund for this order as a inconvenience caused to you. Also, I will forward your valuable feedback to our team. [10:10:36 AM] Breanne Clark: ok. so I was waiting and waiting for nothing. that is even more frustrating that no one told me it was returned. [10:11:02 AM] Breanne Clark: ok, thank you for processing the refund and I hope these situations are handled better in the future because it is truly disappointing [10:11:47 AM] David Alexander: Thank you for your understanding.  [10:11:47 AM] David Alexander: Thank you for chatting. Good luck with your fitness goals! And don't forget to visit us at http://www.beachbody.com DON'T FORGET TO VISIT YOU AT BEACHBODY.COM, HUH? Excellent. Glad I got that taken care of.  Idiots.

If all else fails, swim...bike.....RUN

Oh to be a kid again, when changing your dreams every other day didn't put you further and further behind your peers *sigh* and into the baby-making years and make you feel like some sort of failure.  Today I was looking at MPH programs again and attended a webinar for one of the programs I've looked at, when lately I've really been focusing on finding an engineering program that would allow me to focus on Biomechanics, or maybe an Orthotics degree....I think I've figured out that I can't decide if I want to do something that is directly related to my passion of running, or educating and inspiring others to be healthy and find their own passions (which, along with my interest in science, is where that whole doctor thing came in).  Well, I'm getting somewhere?  Oh Daaaaad, Mr. Guidance Counselor, I might be making an appointment soon.

ANYWAY, I apparently have no problem filling my schedule with races and spending money. I'm excited for Spring and Summer!

Apr 28: Eugene Half Marathon in Eugene, OR (Tracktown USA!) - Maybe (come on Shannon!)
May 5: Bloomsday Run in Spokane, WA with Dave
May 19: Portland Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Portland, OR with Brenda
Jun 23: Rev3 Half Distance Triathlon (like a half Ironman...) in Williamsburg, VA with Jack, Nik and Jodie (?)

Y'all should join.

I know, my schedule is still running-heavy.  I'm obsessed.

I think I am supposed to be finding an Olympic distance tri to throw in there before the big one.....oops.  I'm not even worried.  #itsprobablyfine (Amy! hahaha)

Beachbody (Customer Service) SUCKS

I figure since I had a kickass workout day, and my excitement for Insanity has severely dwindled (directly related to the fact that I still have not recieved it and I ordered it on January 14th) and I feel I'd rather spend my lifetime coming up with an even better set of workouts than use theirs, now is the time to finally share why I think Beachbody is a shitty company.

Yes we all know it's $120 for the program and an absurd $25 for shipping (seriously, what?)  But people are loving this workout and P90X and some of the others.  Obviously, they are pretty good.  And people in the world of fitness have to make money too.  Shaun T has to make a living too.  I get it.  Which is why I decided to just suck it up and pay it up because I can afford it (not like my smart friend Shannon who got it from someone for $50 on Craigslist...but I digress)

The day I was trying to order it, I was having some issues logging into my account.  I just recently bought P90X as a gift for someone so I had an account.  So I decided to call and order.  First of all, the guy could not grasp that I was trying to just order it from their normal website.  There is also a Team Beachbody site with coaches and other support-type stuff that you can use.  I kept telling him no....just the Beachbody site with all of the products on it....Then instead of focusing on fixing my account login issue, he jumps to placing the order over the phone.  Fine, whatever.  I give him the shipping address and he notices it's a military base and asks me some weird questions about not paying taxes.  No dude, I still pay taxes on consumer products.  We get past that, and then he says "Well I'm not sure if there is a military discount or not, let me check."  Ok, I hope you are new.  He checks, and "unfortunately there is not." Ok, whatever.  But he offers to give me $10 shipping.  That's nice of him.  Cool.

Sorry, I know my annoyance is probably already pouring through this post.

Then all of the sudden he says my order has been placed, and I never gave him credit card info.  So I ask....he says oh yes I'm getting to that.  I guess my card was still on file so I verified that it was the same card I wanted to use.  I guess all is good right?  And I also was able to somehow miraculously get into my account while on the phone.  Weird, maybe that part was my fault.

A couple days letter the email arrives saying it has been shipped.....to KANSAS.  W.T.F.  I seriously read him our local address here like 3 times.  And no, mail forwarding is not set up for FedEx, which is why I was sure to give him the shipping address here.  I was furious.  Well, this is what follows, if you care to know how crappy their customer service is (wherever I had listed our addresses I removed the complete address so it's not posted on world-wide web :) :

Discussion Thread
Chat Transcript	01/23/2013 08:00 AM
[07:18:04 AM] Thank you for contacting Beachbody, my name is Mark Allen. If at any time you feel you're not receiving excellent service or feel unsatisfied with what I am doing, please let me know immediately and I will do all within my power to accomplish your request. How may I help you? [07:19:56 AM] Breanne Clark: On January 14th, I ordered Insanity over the phone because I was having problems logging into my Beachbody account at the time. My billing address and shipping address are currently different because I am living in a temporary location for about 7 months. I never got an email confirmation (which I got last time I ordered a product). Yesterday I was able to pull up the tracking/shipping info, and it was shipped to my billing address. I gave my shipping address 2 or 3 times on the phone. [07:20:51 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you. [07:21:16 AM] Mark Allen: I understand that the package was shipped to wrong address, may I know if you can able to receive the package.  [07:21:57 AM] Mark Allen: And, please help me with your billing name and billing address with zip code to locate your account and help you in receiving the package.  [07:22:31 AM] Breanne Clark: Breanne A Clark [07:22:35 AM] Breanne Clark: [07:22:39 AM] Breanne Clark: KS [07:22:44 AM] Breanne Clark: that is the billing address [07:24:14 AM] Mark Allen: Thank you. I see that the package was shipped out to the following address : [07:24:14 AM] Breanne Clark: I guess I will have to have someone grab it off my porch and pay to ship it to me [07:24:54 AM] Mark Allen:  KS [07:25:54 AM] Mark Allen: I'm sorry for the inconvenience caused to you. Please help me with your complete shipping address so that I can reship the package at no cost to you. [07:27:14 AM] Breanne Clark: the shipping address is: [07:27:21 AM] Breanne Clark: Fairchild AFB, WA 99011 [07:27:32 AM] Breanne Clark: It is not a P.O. Box, it is a general delivery box [07:28:09 AM] Breanne Clark: I checked with Fed Ex and they said they deliver to general delivery addresses, but if it was entered as a P.O. Box when I gave it over the phone that may have caused problems [07:28:10 AM] Breanne Clark: I don't know [07:30:17 AM] Breanne Clark: is that address in my account anywhere? [07:30:58 AM] Mark Allen: Yes, we have your shipping address in our database. [07:31:01 AM] Breanne Clark: It was just really frustrating to see that it went to the wrong place after I spoke with the gentleman on the phone for so long [07:33:07 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, I understand your frustration at this point of time and I apologize for the inconvenience caused to you regarding the delivery and we will make sure that will not occur in future. I have gone ahead and requested my finance team to processed a full refund $9.95 on the shipping and handling charge for the inconvenience. [07:34:11 AM] Mark Allen: And, using the refund amount you can have the package shipped to your destination. May I know if this works fine with you ?  [07:35:47 AM] Breanne Clark: to be quite honest, I'm not trying to be difficult, but I will have to ask someone else to go to my house, go to the post office to ship it and then send them the money, so it doesn't help too much [07:37:13 AM] Mark Allen: I understand, I can reship a new shipment to your shipping address even though you have to return the shipment back to us which is delivering to your billing address. [07:37:54 AM] Mark Allen: Please let know if you want me to reship the package or just process the refund so that you can have the package shipped to your destination ?  [07:39:12 AM] Breanne Clark: I'll just have them ship it to me, since they will have to ship that one back for me anyway if you send a new one [07:39:55 AM] Mark Allen: You are correct, just to confirm shall I go ahead and process the refund for you ?  [07:40:31 AM] Breanne Clark: Yes [07:42:12 AM] Mark Allen: Okay, I have requested my finance team to process the $9.95 refund back to your account. [07:42:24 AM] Breanne Clark: Ok [07:42:30 AM] Mark Allen: The refund will be processed within 24 business hours It may take your financial institution up to 72 additional business hours to post it to your account. [07:42:43 AM] Mark Allen: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today ? [07:43:24 AM] Breanne Clark: No, that's it. [07:43:31 AM] Mark Allen: You are welcome. Are you satisfied with the customer service you have received today ? [07:44:00 AM] Breanne Clark: No, not really [07:44:05 AM] Breanne Clark: but that's fine [07:44:22 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, I'm sorry to know that.  [07:44:57 AM] Mark Allen: May I know how you want this to be solved ? [07:47:03 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, are you there with me ?  [07:47:23 AM] Breanne Clark: I understand mistakes happen, but nothing about ordering (and now recieving) this product was easy. I would feel obligated to tell others about this experience. And $10 just doesn't seem like much for the inconvenience to myself and whoever I ask to fix the problem (not Beachbody) [07:47:55 AM] Breanne Clark: I am not trying to get some huge discount, but the fact is that it wasn't my mistake, and I feel like there has been a lot of wasted time in this process [07:50:01 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, I agree with you and I apologize on behalf of Beachbody. Also, I would like to offer a free shipping for your next purchase as a compensation. May I know if this works fine with you ? [07:51:38 AM] Breanne Clark: I ordered P90X for my brother last month, I honestly don't plan on buying anything anytime soon. [07:54:09 AM] Breanne Clark: I don't want to waste anymore time, thank you for processing the refund. have a nice day [07:56:08 AM] Mark Allen: Breanne, I will process $10.00 S&H refund from the P90X order as you do not have any plan to purchase and I know that this will be rectify the mistake but I hope this will be best compensation also I hope you will be satisfied with this resolution ?  [07:57:46 AM] Breanne Clark: the shipping was $19.95 for the P90X [07:58:00 AM] Breanne Clark: but yes, that would definitely be more reasonable to me [07:58:43 AM] Mark Allen: I'm glad to know about that and the refund will be processed within 24 business hours It may take your financial institution up to 72 additional business hours to post it to your account. Is there anything else that I can assist you with today ? [07:59:17 AM] Breanne Clark: no that is all [07:59:25 AM] Mark Allen: Okay and lastly before you go. May I ask if you found my service to be satisfactory today? [08:00:14 AM] Breanne Clark: yes, I appreciate the help. [12:00:00 AM] Mark Allen: I'm glad to know that you are satisfied with my resolution and thank you for chatting. Good luck with your fitness goals! And don't forget to visit us at http://www.beachbody.com

Ok if you read until this point, I'll try to wrap up my feelings on this real quick.

1) Don't put the legitimately pissed customer into a position where he/she feels like the jerk for basically saying what you are offering does not make them feel better about the situation.  Sorry, but it doesn't
2) If you are going to charge as much as you do for your products, don't outsource so you can pay nothing....hire Americans and give me someone who can speak proper English and write proper English.  What the hell are you doing with all that money?  Yeah, most companies outsource these days.  Well in cases like this, they should pay for it.  I want as many people to know about how much they don't care as possible
3) I of all people don't like the phone too much, but as a customer I do.  Whe does this company make it easier to use this chat option than to reach someone by phone? Because they can pull this shit? Because they can't speak English?
4) If I NEVER SAY 'THANK YOU,' DON'T SAY 'YOU'RE WELCOME' !!!

By this point, I don't really care how awesome your product is.  I don't want to give you my money.  Hope you are proud of your business model, Beachbody.

*Still waiting for product*
*Never got refund for P90X*

I wanted to get a jumpstart on this prior to tri training beginning and that obviously didn't happen.  I just dont care about it anymore.

And finally, I did have 2 awesome workouts today, courtesy of my buddy Nik and his awesome tri training workout plan! :)

Fitness is kind of a big deal

Dave has been in class for 12+ hours every day since he has been in Weapons School.  They also go in on weekends, to avoid it being longer.  He is not happy about not working out enough.  So I was thinking....I could tell him I'm not feeding him dinner unless he stops at the gym on his way home? Is that cruel, or effective? Or both? Would he just go to Burger King instead?  It's worth experimenting :)  This is me....embracing the AF Wifeness.

But seriously....why is it that physical fitness is so important in the military, but in the end, they could care less if you get the time to do it or not? I totally understand that this school is intense and competitive and badass(?), but all the more reason to stay sharp.  Your brain just works better when you workout (I know, very scientific.  Well, it does).  Oh yeah, you're healthier.  I will force Dave to do it and support him (the fitness nut in me), but honestly after him being in class for 14 hours....WTH? (the wife in me).

When I was in, I always found the time to workout....sort of.  Overall.  There were weeks it didn't happen because work dictated it and I couldn't find any more energy.  And a lot of times when I did, it wasn't as long as it needs to be or that great of a workout.  ANYWAY.  I guess we're at war, everything is critical, even class............ *sarcasm bursts out of me*

BTW, it's 20:27 and he still isn't home.  I'm eating raw veggies and drinking wine to hold me over.  Seems legit.

Today was pretty good for a Monday.  An hour and a half at the dog park really does the trick.  Dogs have been passed out all day, pretty much.  They weren't exactly passed out when I ate the huge Chicago-style dog in front of them in the car right after the park, but they left me alone.

I made a "friend" today at the suites we stayed at the first week we were here.  I went to check for leftover mail, and talked to the owner for 20 minutes about fitness, health food, travel, skiing, Sorel boots, babies, families.  She gave me her card and her blog site.  I said I'll be back to chat.  She said she'll continue to hold my mail.  Love nice people.

I enjoy never really wearing anything besides my Michigan sweats, my Sorels, my fluffy Columbia jacket and my Under Armour cap.  And the looks I get.  I realized today....I've been wearing that outfit like....everyday.  This.  THIS.  Is the life of an AF wife.

*I still find it difficult to eat raw veggies without at least light ranch.
*I can't stop listening to Lego House by Ed Sheeran
*I want to run across the Sahara Desert after watching "Running the Sahara"

TRI TRAINING STARTED TODAY.  Long course triathlon June 23 in Williamsburg.  Pumped.

That is all.

the life of a mostly SAHW

The next person who calls me an AF wife might be getting a punch in the face. Whew that felt good! One of my friends recently introduced me to a blog written by a writer in NY. This post about being mostly a SAHM (stay at home mom) and this one about being a trophy wife. Perfect. Someone else knows my worst fears and deepest feelings. And her writing cracks me up.

I've written before about being an AF Wife. Oh at the time I was in my wanna-be-doctor phase. Those  same feelings are true today, though. But it isn't summer anymore and the longer and longer this "break" gets, the more unhappy I am.

All the choices I have made up until this point were my own. I am not complaining, I am very fortunate, and bottom line I chose love and sacrificed some other things I want (maybe also because I am not clear what that is exactly, at least for now. But I sure know I love the heck out of Dave).

I get really lonely when I feel there are a couple sets of people in my life who are around me, but not with me. The ones who are still in the AF and are a constant reminder of the things I hated and the things I loved about the AF, but who all still have a common bond I used to be a part of and no doubt don't quite see things from my new perspective. And those (who may or may not have been in the AF at one point) who assume I am happy because I am taking advantage of an opportunity to be with my husband more and getting the hell out of Kansas for a while. I try to make the best out of every situation, but that certainly does not mean I am completely fulfilled. I am still really trying to figure out how to get on my own path while still putting my family first.  It's tricky, and each day it feels like it gets a little harder and I'm spiraling into a permanent role as a full-time AF wife (*gasp*!). Don't get me wrong, I do not think there is anything wrong with that. But for me, I still want something else. And I can't rely on friends or family to light a fire under me, because while it really helped me a couple weeks ago when some amazing people kicked my ass a little, it doesn't last unless I really feel it myself. I have to get moving and figure it out.  

I already feel like a full-time dog-mom. The other day, about a week after we got Ellie her luxurious crate pad, I left the dogs home for about 6 hours while I went to lunch and a movie with a friend. She made it clear to me that she MUST have exercise before I leave each and every day. She was not tired from an hour at the park the day before, or her training. No she was charged and ready to go for another day of work as a border collie and I let her down by not letting her work. I came home to find her laying in a pile of shredded up foam. I lost my patience, but as I reflected later I realized it is because I blame myself for not giving her what she needed, and came to terms that it's not an option (like it is with the non-Border Collie, older Teddy). On Saturday, I took her to the end of the street in the open field to play fetch with her before we went out in the evening. She fetched the ball for 40 minutes and never slowed down.  Eventually I got too cold. She seemed tired, and was panting (and it's difficult to get her to that point), but never slowed down. She would have fetched the ball the rest of the night if I had kept throwing it, I think. I realized, she really feels it's her job if I ask her to do it. It is an admirable trait for a dog. Ok Ellie, I still love you. But you are going to get a reconstructed, sewn-up crate pad, not a new one. She is teaching me patience, though.

So, some days I am content being home. Some days I am not. I totally understand Lyz's struggles with modern womanhood.  I would also like to say that the next person who asks me if I get bored during the day, or asks "So, what do you do all day while Dave is gone?" (really, can't you ask "What have you been up to?") might also get an insulting response from me. I discussed my frustration with Dave recently and he said his Grandpa once told him "Boredom is a result of a lack of initiative on your part." I couldn't agree MORE.

No, I don't get bored. I read books, and have 20 in my queue. I am teaching myself to knit so I can make some gifts. I workout, soon to be twice a day, training for a long course triathlon and a couple half marathons. I look up fun recipes and cook. Oh, I go to the store so I can buy the yarn and needles to knit and the food to cook. I go to training with Ellie.  I take the dogs to the park to tire them out.  I pick up our damn mail because we don't have a mailbox. I read funny, interesting blogs written by people with cool experiences. I do dishes. I do laundry (ok, that part is boring, but it's on the list).  I've gone to 5 of the 21 wineries here in Spokane. Don't mind me while I hit up the other 16 and taste wine during the day because I can. I watch documentaries and/or shows on Netflix. I look for JOBS. I love my husband and am super proud of him and try to take care of him, even though I suck at that sometimes because I can be selfish. And when that happens I work on that. Must I go on?

Am I bored being a stay-at-home wife? No. Do I feel fulfilled? Not quite. I have more to give, and that is why I truly appreciate when people don't stop talking to me about that.  

*end blog post rant*