What is it about chapstick that I can't keep track of it? Ever. I found it in my eyeglass case this weekend after like 3 days. Next time I lose it, I'll be sure to remember to check there again........
Loving the hair. Except in the wind. Or Seattle rain. Or any of the elements. I need it short enough so that it literally can't move.
Also, cherry jolly ranchers. Why the shortage? The ratio is way off. It's like 1:5 to all the other flavors. Dislike. It's the best flavor.
Ok, but what I'm really excited about today is some recent inspiration. I've always loved to blog. I've often thought about starting a "real" blog (meaning one that is about more than chapstick and jolly ranchers) but have never been quite sure about a) a focus or theme and b) how to do it.
What I've discovered as I've followed more and more blogs and researched how to get going in the blogging world is that the blogging community is friendly and helpful. Rachel Bertsche talks about it in her book "MWF Seeking BFF." She labels the online community "fiercely loyal." She quotes a blogger's comment (to her blog) in her book:
"Sometimes I feel like my bloggy friends understand me better than my real ones."
She goes on to talk about the pros and cons of this, but I have to say, I see where she is coming from. For me it isn't about "friends" per se, but everyone has an innate need to feel needed (I think), and writing and writing and writing knowing it isn't helping anyone (or just not knowing whether it is or isn't) and not getting any feedback is pretty useless to me.
While linking my personal blog to FB and seeing that 95 people click on it but 1 person comments has been REALLY exciting and everything, I want to blog about topics that are helpful to people. I have a passion for exercise and a holistic approach to a healthy lifestyle. Well, I have some education in that realm too. If I can integrate my passion, education and maybe some humor into a blog that helps people directly and/or points them to other helpful resources.....I would get a lot more joy out of blogging.
I had looked into the "how to do it" a while back and felt overwhelmed with some resources. I was reading and reading and reading this one site about how to do it (but more about how wonderful it will be once it works) and in the end it was going to cost me an arm and a leg for a handbook or class. Can't even remember. I was turned off and let it go.
I've had people tell me they enjoy reading my posts before, and a friend recently asked me if I had thought about blogging for a "living." Well, not exactly. I think that was sort of the focus of some of the materials I had run across before, but that is not my primary goal and didn't want to pay a huge sum of money to get started. But this got me thinking again.....how DO you make money with a blog??? How DO you get people to find your blog? Seriously. So I've already spent a couple hours this morning researching and reading again. Bob Lotich's post about how to make money with a blog has been so helpful and allowed me to create an outline of how it works. Well, he basically gives the outline. It is so awesome that he has taken the time to give so much information about how he got started and all of the lessons he has learned so people like me are in a better place to start. It sounds like I can get started WITHOUT actually giving up an arm or a leg and I'm really excited. I'm not sure if you'll see this because I linked the article, but if you do, thank you Bob! :)
My goal in life is not to get rich (well, not for now:) And being in limbo all the time with the military (which is driving me insane even though I thought I was prepared....I keep hearing everyone's voices telling me right before I left the Air Force "It's going to be harder out there....moving around....." They were correct), I would LOVE something I could always take with me. I really enjoy social networking so I can combine a bunch of things I love and provide useful information. And make blogging friends. If I can make money in the end, that would be grreeeeaaat!
Don't worry, I'll keep this blog open for chapstick & jolly rancher-like topics.
I'm feeling good. This is how I feel
:D
Monday, April 29, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Marathon Monday
It is called Marathon Monday. And it will continue to be Marathon Monday. Right? The future of the sport and other events in similar settings is questionable, but it is also just a result of another attack on America, not runners. The headline might look something like this.....
"Runners and spectators take the brunt of the latest attack on America"
I don't know, it's been a while since an English teacher critiqued the length and focus of a story title.
I have so many thoughts about what people post or say after such a tragic event. I am not writing this to mock people's thoughts or emotions, but to simply work through my own, and highlight what I think are some things we REALLY need to think about and remember. I am not writing this to downplay the tragic events of the Boston Marathon, but to highlight that this is not isolated.
"Are we safe doing anything anymore?" No, but we already knew this.....didn't we? Let's not pretend we are SURPRISED by this happening at a running event.
"Runners are strong and mentally tough and we will not let this bring us down.....we will keep running." That is no one's quote in particular, but the combined sentiments of the running community around me (I'll include myself). It's true, but what are we coming together to do? It needs to be more than run. Runners happened to be the target in this particular case because the large crowd, but overall, we're not the only target.
However, I will admit that this hit home a little moreso than some other recent tragedies. But that is just human nature, I suppose. It's one of the settings I love the most....a running race. Running IS one of the places I escape. It IS what I love to do. So while my heart has broken for the victims and those affected by other terrorist attacks, this one actually made me put myself in those runner's shoes. I thought about races I've done. The finish line moments. And then made myself try to understand what it would feel like if 2 bombs went off right there. Two? Are there more? But I can barely imagine what that must have felt like. And I will think about it in the future. After my last marathon, I felt terribly sick immediately following and then almost passed out a short while after.....while laying down. I don't think my body would be very resilient as a runnner near that finish line. But those spectators and runners actually wounded or killed- they didn't have a chance.
I am seeing so many debates on FB in the form of comments to other articles...people calling others selfish because they think it is just about their sport. I don't think all runners think it just about them, but it hit home for them and all runners have that in common.
Each time one of these tragedies occur in a new setting, I think people are affected differently. Each time they occur, I feel numb and then I cry and each one is a little more difficult to process, regardless of where it happened.
So for me, there are 2 separate pieces to this and any terrorist attack (the news may not officially state that yet, but I am). The target of these attacks is where there are the most people. Where it is the most shocking. Terrorists don't hate runners specifically. They are going for big. Tragic. But, how we react to this particular attack and the way we let it affect the future of something we love (running) is a separate issue. And how we come together to prevent other tragedies is yet another issue.
We can come together as a running community...to keep on running and support each other. But how do we act and come together to prevent future tragedies? In any setting. We all know it won't be a race next time. That is what is on my mind.
Love to Boston.
"Runners and spectators take the brunt of the latest attack on America"
I don't know, it's been a while since an English teacher critiqued the length and focus of a story title.
I have so many thoughts about what people post or say after such a tragic event. I am not writing this to mock people's thoughts or emotions, but to simply work through my own, and highlight what I think are some things we REALLY need to think about and remember. I am not writing this to downplay the tragic events of the Boston Marathon, but to highlight that this is not isolated.
"Are we safe doing anything anymore?" No, but we already knew this.....didn't we? Let's not pretend we are SURPRISED by this happening at a running event.
"Runners are strong and mentally tough and we will not let this bring us down.....we will keep running." That is no one's quote in particular, but the combined sentiments of the running community around me (I'll include myself). It's true, but what are we coming together to do? It needs to be more than run. Runners happened to be the target in this particular case because the large crowd, but overall, we're not the only target.
However, I will admit that this hit home a little moreso than some other recent tragedies. But that is just human nature, I suppose. It's one of the settings I love the most....a running race. Running IS one of the places I escape. It IS what I love to do. So while my heart has broken for the victims and those affected by other terrorist attacks, this one actually made me put myself in those runner's shoes. I thought about races I've done. The finish line moments. And then made myself try to understand what it would feel like if 2 bombs went off right there. Two? Are there more? But I can barely imagine what that must have felt like. And I will think about it in the future. After my last marathon, I felt terribly sick immediately following and then almost passed out a short while after.....while laying down. I don't think my body would be very resilient as a runnner near that finish line. But those spectators and runners actually wounded or killed- they didn't have a chance.
I am seeing so many debates on FB in the form of comments to other articles...people calling others selfish because they think it is just about their sport. I don't think all runners think it just about them, but it hit home for them and all runners have that in common.
Each time one of these tragedies occur in a new setting, I think people are affected differently. Each time they occur, I feel numb and then I cry and each one is a little more difficult to process, regardless of where it happened.
So for me, there are 2 separate pieces to this and any terrorist attack (the news may not officially state that yet, but I am). The target of these attacks is where there are the most people. Where it is the most shocking. Terrorists don't hate runners specifically. They are going for big. Tragic. But, how we react to this particular attack and the way we let it affect the future of something we love (running) is a separate issue. And how we come together to prevent other tragedies is yet another issue.
We can come together as a running community...to keep on running and support each other. But how do we act and come together to prevent future tragedies? In any setting. We all know it won't be a race next time. That is what is on my mind.
Love to Boston.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
brené-tology
the church of Brené
brene-tology
the church of latter day Brené.
Just some ideas one of my friends came up with when I recently joked that I've been "saved" by Brené. Love it.
So I referenced depression in my previous post. This isn't something I really try to hide, but I also feel like talking to very few people about it. Very, very few people. And I guess Brené is helping me understand why. Not everyone deserves to hear your shame story....and that is a powerful concept that has given me strength in itself.
Even though I thought I knew where a lot of my depression was coming from, she defined it for me. The bottom line...the root of it...is that I feel a lot of shame and gradually allowed this to affect my worthiness ----> I've lost connections and people who understand. Of course I've blamed myself for that too. That's it. Vicious cycle. Where did the shame come from in the first place? Well that is probably for a therapist. I've analyzed and analyzed and it's all blurry.
It isn't that I am not working right now, even though I would prefer to do so. Or that not working is making me feel a bit unfulfillled. These are normal phases of my life that I chose, but I do struggle with and need support. It isn't that I'm just "having a bad day." A lot, or most, of my days are great, actually. Or that I'm "bored." Because I'm not. It is that I feel I have broken connections with people and have issues with a sense of belonging. The few people I can talk to who actually want to listen and understand when I AM struggling and don't rank it against other levels of struggle. So that I can truly go through my days and face those who can't empathize with how I feel without feeling like a piece of shit at the end of the day.
Today I watched Part 2 of Oprah and Brené Brown and just could not get over how RIGHT she is; as she mentioned at the end of the episode, she is trying to create a language for what people go through in terms of vulnerability and shame (so maybe you have no idea what I'm talking about in this post so far). It makes people (me) feel like they aren't alone. And I have no problems sharing what I'm going through on here because I am honestly not seeking a response from the world wide web. What I've shared is just skimming a bit of the surface.
What I personally am beginning to work on is getting past shame by sharing my story with those 1-2 people in my life she talks about being deserving of hearing my shame story. And then convincing myself that I'm enough. And then getting on with life. 1, 2, 3.
"If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: Secrecy, silence and judgment."
I get judged plenty. One of my favorites is that I post a lot (too much??) on FB, and I must be bored. I've heard that a few times. Oh really? Well please tell me more about my life. Please judge more. And don't listen.
Side note: If you stopped at "Oprah" because you don't like her, well then go ahead and stop. But I watch because Brené is brilliant. And a lot of Oprah's contributions to the discussion hit home with me too.
The reason I am so excited to talk about Brené is because I hope I can get more people to watch her, listen to her and/or read her books. I have learned so much about myself and yes, even how to view/treat others, through her interviews and talks (well, I've learned the language that goes with my feelings) and look forward to reading her books. What I want is for more people to get strength from her words and research. Or even just understand human connection more.
I am actively working on my self-talk and other things that have really hurt me over the years. Dad, I know you always tried to teach me about self talk, so thank you. I knew you weren't full of hot air, but I guess I just needed the more in-depth analysis to get it through my head. And to hit new lows.
I've created a little directory below with everything I've watched. (Is there more?? If so, tell me:)
Watch in this order for best results :)
TED talks:
Oprah and Brene:
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