Sunday, June 16, 2013

My relationship with running

So I've been totally off my blogging game. I'm not proud of this. I hate when I let whatever it is in life get between me and my little journal. I just looked....I have 5 drafts started. Seriously? I'm sure those will come to fruition.

But tonight as I was running I got the urge to spill my feelings about this sport I love so much. I've had a lot of obstacles training for this triathlon coming up next weekend. In fact, I made the very tough decision to switch from the Half (half ironman) distance to the Olympic on Monday. I'm stubborn and love a challenge....I signed up for a Half never having done an Olympic knowing it was a little ambitious but having confidence. After a burnout phase (never got that with running so I didn't even know what was happening really until after),  a pinched nerve that took me out for a while and then getting sick last week, I decided to swallow my pride. I'll still do a Half. But this isn't the right time.

But the tone of this post has been more negative than I intended when I started writing. Gah! My POINT is that I'm in love with running. I've enjoyed the swimming and biking, but I could really benefit from some training buddies and more coaching in these areas. Maybe I thought because I love to run alone I could just do it all alone.

I'll always have that relationship with the runner in me. It's a long-term relationship. I know it's developed through 15 years of running. I've learned a lot...how to challenge myself and push myself.  Through heat. Through wind. Through ankle sprains. Through Afghanistan dirt, dust and a burn pit (seriously thankful I didn't mess up my lungs). We're still working on the hills. We've come a long way with speed work. Through 5Ks. 10ks. Half Marathons. Marathons. So when I get injured or sick and miss a couple weeks and I'm freaking out about an upcoming triathlon during which I'm afraid I'll fall off my bike, the runner says...

"You've been away for a while, but we can totally pick up where we left off because we're besties! You've still got this. You can still push the speed. You can still push the endurance. You're mentally tough. Your legs are full of muscle even though your core sucks (seriously, work on your core please). You can still put one foot in front of the other, just a little faster. Even up this hill. Even against the annoying Kansas wind (when are you moving again?). Even facing the sun. Even though it never rained today and it's still humid as hell (WHEN ARE YOU MOVING?). We will rock the end of that silly triathlon. Smoke 'em! Hey aren't you super excited about those new running shoes coming in the mail next week?"

Seriously. The runner talks to me. That's what she said tonight. It's like she has so much confidence in me that I feel ok about maybe dying through the rest.

I don't take the fact that I can run for granted. I love it so much.

Geez it's even easy to blog about running.