Irony

Today was a bad day for me.  A 180 from how I've been feeling.  I am just starting to feel suffocated.  Dave is gone all the time (not by choice, I understand) and we have 2 dogs.  How the HELL am I ever going to be able to have my own life and career? How am I going to CHOOSE my path?

Even though I try my best to be a good one, I was not designed to be (solely) an AF wife. 

No one will probably believe me, but over the last several months I've "concluded" that the only way for that to happen (the whole "me have a career that I want" thing) is with no dogs (kids?), and I've considered trying to find a new home for them.  I love them to death.  And this is actually going through my head.

It is agonizing to think about.  So much so that I broke down in tears tonight.  And not only just a few tears, I fell onto the floor crying.  For a long while.  Head pounding.  And Ellie was the only one there to cuddle up next to me and dry (lick) the tears off of my face.

Irony, huh?

I'm sure it will all work out...pretty sure I CAN NOT part with them.