move on...I think I can, I think I can

Watched Bridesmaids again tonight.  3rd time.  It really makes me laugh hysterically.  But it also makes me feel like shit. 

I really don't want pity.

I just want someone who understands. I want someone who won't compare their life to mine.  I want someone who doesn't believe my life is "perfect" just because I have the perfect husband (really, I do) because I'm a human and still struggle with a lot, and a nice house, that we both worked really hard to afford (just being honest) and now feel even luckier to have with half the income. 

I want someone who needs me like I need them.  Someone who comes to me with their problems.  Someone who values my opinion.  I want the confidence to believe that I can still be this person in someone's life.  At this point.

I want someone who is honest with me and tells me when I screw up or if I'm being selfish. One who doesn't so easily give up on me.

It saddens me to this day that I lost my best friend from high school.  I'm more than willing to take at least 50% "blame," as our lives took us in different directions, and I didn't try hard enough.  This one sticks out the most to me, especially when I run across mixed CDs she made me with customized covers. 

And with all those requirements, it almost goes without saying, I don't want it to be fake.

It's painful to not have that "one" anymore. 

I wish our stories ended like Lillian and Annie's.

But we only get one life, and it always comes back to....it is what it is.