Tornado of Change

So I knew that I get cranky when I don't run, but now I've also figured out I get stressed when I don't write. Self-diagnosing.

Although I can barely process all the emotions I am experiencing right now. There is a lot going on at once as we get closer to moving (to England. No big deal. Tiny life change. RIGHT?). I keep feeling like I'm looking at myself from the outside and analyzing how life's events (that we asked for) are just wreaking havoc on my feelings.  Really trying to just make myself laugh it off.  Why not. At least half of my emotion is excitement.  Maybe 60%.

One example...missing the dogs. This went to an extreme. We always miss them when we travel without them, but I could not WAIT to pick them up from the kennel after our last trip to Michigan. I thought to myself that it's probably just because there is so much going on and they are comforting. When I told Dave I missed them SO much this time, he said "It's probably just because of all the big changes going on right now." Yup. He gets me. We both love our puppies. I just want to cuddle with them all the time right now! The poor things don't know they are about to be moved halfway around the world and I'm using them as one of my primary means of emotional support.  Well, they have the luxury of not knowing.  Or do they? I think they will start noticing soon.

As I cuddled on the couch with Dave and the puppies the other night, watching the Tigers and drinking some wine, I wondered how the heck we were going to get to England in any kind of smooth manner. So many details to figure out still with approximately 4 weeks left.  Of course, most of those are dog details.  It's amazing that we sold our house already, but closing is a little earlier than expected so we think we'll be living in our friend's basement for a little bit. Extra friend time!? Positive. Dave's orders aren't final. We don't have plane tickets or even travel dates, let alone final plans for the dogs.  Newest development for them is that we might just fly them to Paris to save thousands of dollars (thanks England. we're off to a good start, you and I).

And then it just occured to me...all you need is love.  The 4 of us will get over there somehow and that is all that matters.  I'm going to bawl my eyes out when we walk out of this house for the last time, but I'll cherish the memories and we'll be off on another adventure together.  

And on that note- no, leaving the dogs here is not an option.  I know it's somewhat of an innocent question when people ask, but I almost cringe.

They are a part of the family.  They are a constant among all the change. When we come back from visiting friends and family far away, they are here.  When Dave is gone, they are here.  When I am gone, they are here for Dave.  Plus, they have it super good living with us. And they are so much fun.  How can we just leave them here? I would miss them terribly in England and I don't need sadness getting in the way of my fun :) Plus, they would miss out on roaming the English countryside.  That seems unfair to them.

Ok, maybe one reason to leave them here would be that England is the one country in the world that makes it extremely expensive to get them in.....frustrating, yes.  Showstopper, no.  They can make it difficult but they can't stop me.

Packaged deal

And no, you can't take one but not the other. 

Also, while on leave, there were some very important developments in the category of future Clark babies. The first thing is that we picked favorite names for both genders. 16 hour car ride, fun little activity for people in their late twenties. When we told Dave's grandparents about the names, other concerns in this department arose. Specifically, his Grandpa was concerned about us having a child in England, because this could possibly jeapordize his or her opportunity of running for president in the United States.  Naturally, this is a concern. Our kid will be awesome. Dave's brother also asked this question. Well, I've done some more research since and determined that our child would still be considered a natural-born citizen so all would be good. He or she will still be one fine presidential candidate. Everybody- sigh of relief, I know. Another huge concern we're getting: make babies soon so that they have little British accents. Come on people! Think about the timing. We'd really have to have a baby RIGHT NOW for that to work :)  But I agree, that would be kind of neat.

It was really comforting to talk to family & friends about England, our plans for where we want to live, work/school opportunities for me, possible children. Even though we will be so far away, it made me feel closer.  A lot of friends and family checking in on us and I'm so grateful.  We have people signing up to visit and we are really excited about that, too.

I kind of wish we could fast forward 4 weeks, when the tornado of change will just drop us in England. I know that will be another phase of change getting settled, but that seems more fun. I guess life isn't that easy, though. We must face all of the little details & various emotions that go with big moves.  Just like everyone else.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Sing it, Kelly. Except that I'm not alone. But I like her passion.